"Learning to Breathe"

For years my blog has been titled "Joy in the Journey".  I felt like I needed to change the title in honor of this new grand adventure, this new chapter in our lives.  The last decade has been filled with unmet expectation of God, myself and others that have left me disillusioned and overwhelmed.  I feel as if I'm drowning in the sea of life and I need to "Learn to Breathe". 

Day by day I'm learning to let go of more of myself and fall headlong into the deep, deep love of Jesus Christ.  Here are some things that help me learn to breathe IN the goodness of God and breathe out the worries of life.

1. Spending time in God's Word.  I read many translations.  Predominantly I read the NASB New American Standard translation.  Currently I am using the New Inductive Study Bible published by Precept Ministries International.  Precept is a particular study method that helps me focus by reading and re-reading a passage and marking particular words or phrases (www.precept.org).  I listen to the Bible online (www.bible.is).  Usually the ESV version.  There is also a great app for my droid (www.youversion.com).  I I also read daily devotionals (My Utmost for His Highest, Checklist or Life and Jesus Calling).  This past year I was introduced to www.project345.com.  Our faith family has been collectively participating in this reading plan and I feel it has made a difference personally and collectively.
2. True, lasting friendships that hold me accountable, lift me up and always bring me back to the cross. 
3. Journaling and blogging
4. Working the steps and principles through Celebrate Recovery.  I have been a part of this program for 7+ years.
5. Exercising regularly-this includes jogging, lifting weights, hiking and some yoga
6. Eating cleaner
7. Drinking more water
8. Prayer.  I used to think this was some very serious, arduous task.  I've come to realize that prayer IS breathing in the goodness of God and breathing out my hurt, pain and pride.  Prayer is more peaceful, personal, practical and purposeful these days.
9. Resting.  This is a difficult one for me.  I need more sleep than I like to admit.  I am coming to appreciate an early bedtime or the gift of an afternoon nap.
10. Laughing.  I so appreciate laughter.  It's always fun when combined with chocolate, friends, a nice wine, my sweet kiddos, date night and late night coffee talks.

For those of you who have helped me find joy as I've journeyed I pray you will continue to follow my musing while I learn to breathe.  This move to the pacific NW is going to be full of adventure and I will have LOTS to write about.  Thanks for reading.

Back in the Saddle

So I will be sharing my testimony with the Mtn. View CR group on July 12th.  Things have changed dramatically in the last three years.  I am excited to share God's story through me.  Also Nathan and I are considering returning to CR as participants.  Exciting stuff....

In August Nathan and I hope to attend a Precept leader training.  We both have a hunger to know the Word and to be able to teach it to our children and others that desire to know God more intimately.  This is really exciting.  I believe it to be a step towards our ultimate calling in Christ. 

Just wanted to jot these things down.  Will write more when I can.

"What Gorilla?"

I think this video is a GREAT example of what can happen when we DENY the "monkey on our back". I think we ALL struggle with denial from time to time. I am BLESSED to have found Celebrate Recovery and count it a joy to be out of denial about my hurts, habits and hang-ups. When my "gorilla" comes knocking on my door, God, my husband, my accountability partners, and my group help me to realize I don't have to answer his call! Praise the Lord. I hope you enjoy this video and if you have ANY questions about CR feel free to email me at janelleflint@gmail.com or check out celebraterecovery.com

My "Theme" Song

When I had the chance to share my testimony with my CR group last November I sang this song to open my "story". Please note this is NOT me singing (although I wish it was). I hope you enjoy Bethany Dillon singing "Beautiful"

January CR Newsletter

res⋅o⋅lu⋅tion - 1.a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.
2.the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.
3.the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose.


This time of year people make "resolutions". I used to participate in this New Year's "tradition". However, I stopped many years ago because honestly I wasn't keeping them and then I struggled with this list of things that I hadn't accomplished. I was condemned by my own desire to do things but my inability to carry them out. You know I can relate to Paul in Romans chapter 7. The Message puts it this way (vs. 17-20) "But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time." Have you ever been there? Wanting to so something good, but not knowing how to do that very thing.

As the new year starts I would encourage you to throw away the lists of things that you probably won't accomplish. I would ask you to try looking into God's word for His lists of things for us to "do", "be" and "accomplish". These lists have eternal value and are even better then losing "x" amount of pounds (if you can believe that..hahaha!). Micah 6:8 says "No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." (NLT). That list is a LOT shorter then the ones I make for myself. How about this list in Luke 10:27 (HCSB) "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself."

Be blessed as you enter 2009. Please know that if you struggle with wanting to do good, be good, change the way you are YET are not able to do so, that you are NOT ALONE. There is a place for you in CR. Join us on Tuesday nights as together with me and lots of other people we admit that (Janelle's version of Step 1) we are powerless over our hurts, habits and hang-ups, and that our lives have become unmanageable.

Here's to LASTING CHANGE,

Janelle Flint

Dec. CR Newsletter Entry

What an odd thing. An upside down tree. From what I've heard and read these "novelty items" have been around for a few years. They HAVEN'T grown on me. Although I find them odd and somewhat disturbing I do find them an accurate depiction of the way we view the Christmas season. One of the premises of these upside down trees is "... just think how many more packages you'll be able to pile under the tree!". (from About.com:interior decorating). What a skewed view of the proper way to celebrate the most precious gift we have ever received...the Christ child.

I also find this "upside down" way of thinking relative to my recovery walk. I came to Celebrate Recovery thinking that I could be of service to those "hurting people". How lost and deceived I was. I was in complete denial of my own issues of pride, co-dependency and unforgiveness. The premise of my life was to try and fit as many "good" things as I could into my days. I thrived while pleasing man and knowing that I had done whatever possible to fit in to my surroundings. I was trying so hard to please God AND man and doing a miserable job at BOTH. Praise God that He opened my eyes to the reality of my life. I was living upside down. Although this lifestyle might have been "in vogue" with the world, it was SIN. Now I revel in the simplicity of my life. I praise God for Celebrate Recovery and the knowledge of the freedom that comes in living "one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time". I'm certainly not perfect. I have a long way to go. There are still upside down days where I struggle with self-sufficiency, pride, unmet expectations, poor attitudes, and unforgiveness. However I can now see those character defects for what they are...SIN. I submit them to the Lord, humbly ask Him to remove them and go back to living my life, HIS life in me. This Christmas realize that Christ came that you might "..have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10). Come and join us ANY Tues. night as we allow God to work in us and bring us back down to reality and out of the denial of our upside down lives. God bless you and Merry Christmas.

Grounded in Him,

Janelle Flint

Sept. CR Newsletter

I am a compulsive list maker. I make grocery lists and lists of books I want to read and songs I want to learn to sing. I make lists of people I need to call, email or send cards. I make lists of things I like about myself and things I don't. I make lists of things for Nathan to do around the house. Then there is the every day "to do" list. Through CR I am learning that God makes lists too. However, his are much shorter and more managable than mine. Micah 6:8 says "He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you, but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God." I can only do this through His spirit that lives in me. So even with a sink full of dishes, an empty fridge and three screaming kids I can accomplish God's list. That's progress. Recognizing this fact is freedom for me. Just one of the many things I've been learning in CR. So scratch something off of your "to do" list...VISIT CR. CHECK!!! You are ALWAYS welcome.

In Him,
Janelle

"Good Fences"

"Good fences make good neighbors.", at least that's what Robert Frost said. Well to be honest if I saw a new fence being built in my neighbor's yard I would be offended. I struggle with co-dependency. I wonder what people think of me and I want to please ALL people, ALL the time. I would wonder why the fence was being built. I would dwell on the fact that they think I'm not a good neighbor. Do you see the skewed thinking pattern? Maybe the fence is to keep their children in, or their animals. Maybe it is simply a boundary. I'm learning a lot about boundaries these days in CR. I am learning not to view fences as negative things. I am also learning that it doesn't matter what's on the "other side" of the "fence". My life is on THIS side. I am to take care of MY OWN "yard". My life is MY life. Sounds like a simple thing to some of you, but it is a BIG thing for people like me who struggle with co-dependency and people pleasing. You know the "grass is greener..." mentality really isn't doing anyone ANY good. Do you know why the grass is greener on the other side of the fence? Maybe it's all the manure over there you just can't see? I say all of that to say, I'm grateful for my life. I'm grateful for CR and I'm grateful for the boundaries I'm learning to recognize AND make in my life. CR is a safe place. There is a "fence" around the information that you share on Tuesdays. It is a confidential place to share life together and to grow and change. Why not see what's on THIS side. You're welcome....

Still growing,

Janelle Flint

April Newsletter

Spring cleaning is a task that most of us dread. It seems daunting and overwhelming but when completed brings a sense of relief, joy and accomplishment. That is very similar to the journey through recovery. It could be (with both cleaning and recovery) that you don't know where to get started, so you avoid it altogether. Well, taking the first step is the hardest. Coming to recovery is THE first step. The "cleaning" of the rooms of your heart certainly cannot and will not occur in that first night, but it is a step to opening your heart to the cleaning power of the Holy Spirit. Galatians 5:1 says "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Take that step, allow God to start cleaning your heart, setting you free and you WILL experience joy, freedom, relief, contentment and happiness as never before. Be blessed. We hope to see you in CR.

In Him,

Janelle

CR Article for March

I realize it's NOT March, but I'm just sharing some past work. Hope you enjoy.
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Merriam-Webster's Online dictionary states that CELEBRATE means to observe a notable occasion with festivities. It goes on to say that RECOVERY is the process of overcoming a disorder or shortcoming.

So...why would anyone want to gather to have a meal, worship and share a time of festivity about overcoming their shortcomings? It almost seems as if Celebrate Recovery is an oxymoron or a contradictory term. Yet, Praise God it IS NOT. John 8:36 (HCSB) says "Therefore if the Son sets you free, you really will be free. Galatians 5:1 (HCSB) says "Christ has liberated us into freedom. Therefore stand firm and don't submit again to a yoke of slavery." So, we "party" each week because of Christ's work, NOT our shortcomings. We celebrate together knowing Christ is the One who is doing the recovering. We are simply working the principles and steps to allow His victory to be realized in our lives.

Easter is this month. There is so much to celebrating Easter. When I think of this day it brings up images of new shoes, fancy dresses, LOTS of candy. It also makes me think of too much food with family and friends. We are one of those families that does ham and chicken because we can't decide. And are they called "deviled" eggs because the evil one wants us to gain weight? I've always wondered. I know I will be attending a glorious service with music and celebration of Jesus' resurrection. I will even be attending a wedding this Easter Sunday. Easter means giving AND receiving. We receive Christ's love for us so we can give it away. That's the 8th principle "Yield myself to God to be used to bring this Good News to others, both by my example and by my words."

I can't think of a better way to realize God's salvation plan than to come to Celebrate Recovery. Celebrate Recovery IS an Easter celebration. The American Heritage dictionary says this about Easter. Easter is a Christian feast commemorating the resurrection of Jesus. We do this EVERY Tuesday as we gather to give thanks to God for His Son Jesus Christ and the work that was done on Calvary. As I answer my questions, work the steps and principles in my small group, I'm practicing Easter. As I sing praises in the time of worship, I'm celebrating Easter. As I hear a testimony and hear of God's work in some one's life, I'm celebrating Easter. As I meet with my accountability partner to pray and share life WE are celebrating Easter. As I learn to live a life of victory in Christ I am celebrating Easter and CELEBRATING RECOVERY. See the connection?

Happy Easter. Why don't you come join us? You can even wear your new "fancy" church shoes. We always have sweets and I bet I could arrange a plate of deviled eggs. Be blessed in the month of March and know that you are welcome each and every Tuesday night for an Easter party!!!

Denial

This is my first newsletter entry for Mtn. View's monthly publication. I get the privilege of writing each month as a CR participant. I thought I would share these with you and get some feedback. I pray they are a blessing to you.


"De-Nial...It's NOT just a river in Egypt". Ha! Ha! That's something we say at Celebrate Recovery. Yet, I say it not tongue and cheek. Denial is something that all of us face. However in Jer. 6:14 (TLB) it says "You can't heal a wound by saying it's not there!"

I just want to share a BRIEF synopsis of my journey OUT of denial. Back in the early summer of 2005 I was asked to come and help facilitate worship at a Celebrate Recovery meeting with my husband Nathan. We agreed readily. We love to sing and to help out with worship. It also was a blessing to be a help to "hurting people". So Nathan and I went to help "lead". We went several times subsequently and enjoyed helping "those people". Well after several weeks of this we both were being convicted by our loving Holy Spirit. At different times and in different ways Nathan and I were becoming aware of OUR need for Celebrate Recovery. It was a few months later when Nathan and I had a talk and agreed that we needed to stay for a CR meeting and not just scoot out after worship. We stayed and the rest is history.

Almost three years later and after completing a 12 step study, Nathan and I are BLESSED to be some of "those people". What kind of "people" are they who come to Celebrate Recovery? Those with hurts, habits, and hang-ups. Those with struggles with chemical dependency. Those with problems and struggles of depression, loneliness, doubt, anger, and people pleasing. Those with "x" amount of extra pounds they carry around because of life's hurts. There are EVERY kind of people in CR. I feel so blessed to have stumbled into such a safe place. A place where Janelle can be Janelle. I can come just as I am and know that's all that's expected. It's the truest representation of the body of Christ I have EVER experienced.

So, if you are ready to step out of denial and discover YOUR need for Celebrate Recovery then I welcome you!! If not, and you just want to come and see why people like ME need Celebrate Recovery, one of "those people", then I welcome you also. Oh, that was sarcastic wasn't it? We'll that's one of the things I'm working on in my second 12 step study. Guess I still need CR.

In Him,

Janelle Flint

True Freedom

This past Tuesday night I was able to finally share my "testimony" with my Celebrate Recovery group. Dictionary.com defines [test.ti.mo.ny] as-open declaration or profession, as of faith. Usually testimonies. the precepts of God.

I have been extremely nervous thinking that I didn’t really have anything to say. I am not going to get into all the details here, but I will say that my Celebrate Recovery group is the ONLY place where I have felt safe enough to REALLY be myself. I feel so completely liberated after sharing. I feel free. I feel loved. In fact, I feel MORE loved after sharing the skeletons in the closet of my life then I did before. Isn’t that an odd thing to say? I don’t understand God’s grace but I praise Him for it! Lamentations 3:22-23 (AMP) says "It is because of the Lord’s mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His [tender] compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness."

So, now I really feel free to dance, free to run, free to play!!! It is my prayer that all whom I love can and will experience this freedom someday!!

How do you spell "No"?

Do you remember that old Rolaids commercial? The one where the man says "How do you spell relief? R-O-L-A-I-D-S"

Well how do I spell "no"? Believe me, this sounds easy. However I have more trouble saying this two letter word than ANY other word in the English language.

I spell no this way: "sure I can do that","yes I'm available", "I would love to help you", "It will be tough but I'm sure I can squeeze it in", "thanks for thinking of me", "I'm honored you asked", "maybe", "I'll check on it", "it shouldn't be a problem", "let me get back to you", "yes", "sure", "absolutely", "how soon do you need that"....do you catch my drift?

I can't say no. I absolutely cannot say it. I'm like "Fonzie" was when trying to say "I'm sorry". I am paralyzed with fear, doubt and guilt everytime I try to say no. It's a sickness I tell you, but it is one that I'm working on overcoming. I HATE being a people pleaser. I HATE being someone's "yes man" and I HATE feeling afraid, anxious, guilty, sad and stressed the majority of my life.

Enough said....I'm exhausted!

The Act of Forgiving

The ones we love the most tend to hurt us the deepest. This has been said and man is it true! Choosing to forgive. Wanting to forgive. Actually forgiving...Steps to wholeness for both the forgiver AND the forgivee!

Watching those you love suffer because of a hurt that has been sent their direction. Feeling helpless all the while as they cry. Being there as they slowly slip into a state of depression! Wondering if they will ever "be with you" again.

There are days like today I am ANGRY. I don't want to forgive. I am mad. It is hard today to even want to forgive, to walk in love and to pray for my "enemy". However, I choose to forgive. I choose to love. I choose to try and reconcile. I choose to be set free from the bondage of anger, hurt and disappointment. I release my resentment. If God is willing to forgive me then I can forgive those who have hurt me and my family. I forgive.....

There is a song by Brandon Heath "I'm Not Who I Was" that speaks to the heart of forgiveness both giving and receiving. I want to be whole. I want to be able to forgive the people who have hurt me, AND to forgive MYSELF.
http://brandonheath.net/

"Are We There Yet?"

When I was a kid we traveled quite frequently. We moved often as a military family. This "question" was asked by myself and my older brothers quite often. I find myself still asking that question but this time it's to God and not my parents!!! "God am I there yet?" This journey I'm on of discovery, recovery and approaching wholeness and freedom in You ISN'T easy. Facing myself and taking responsibility for my actions is the hardest thing I've ever done. I must also accept and offer forgiveness for situations I thought were over. Denial has a nice way of making us feel comfortable doesn't it?

Celebrate Recovery, that's the name of the ministry that Nathan and I have been participating in for two years. It is a program developed by John Baker and Rick Warren (the author of the Purpose Driven Life). This program has been successful at Saddleback Community Church in California for 10+ years. It is now worldwide!!! This program is based on the 12 steps (as in AA/NA, etc.) and the 8 recovery principles (the beatitudes). It is an amazing thing and I'm so grateful I am a participant! Check out http://celebraterecovery.com/ if interested.


This program invloves setting boundaries with my family, my parents, my husband, and my friends. The 12 steps also involve giving and receiving forgiveness, learning to see myself as God sees me, accepting my past and moving on with my life. All of these are things I'm working on right now! It's tough and I'm ready to be there God! You know the exciting thing is I know what's coming! Being with you in heaven will be the greatest gift of all! I want to be there! Keep being patient with me God as I keep trucking along on the "road to recovery".

So, NO I'm not there yet, but I am a little closer. I'm drawing nearer to the Lord everyday and am a little closer to freedom, to oneness, to being whole.