Last Night was Date Night

For Christmas Nathan and I gave the children "A Year of Dates".  This is a manila envelope with instructions on the outside.  Each manila envelope contains 12 legal sized, numbered envelopes with 12 different dates (one per month).  On the first of the month each child gets to choose an envelope.  They can take them in chronological order or can randomly choose.  Then after all have chosen we schedule the dates for sometime that month that cohesively works with the family master schedule.  Each child can be accompanied on their "date" by mom or dad and if possible...both.

Last night was James "date".  He chose the envelope that said "I'm sure there is something that you need.  Let's go shopping and buy it indeed!  Clothes, shoes, school supplies...We will do our best to provide.  Mom and Dad care so much about you."  So the two of us left in the cold wind headed to Target.  James needed a long sleeved shirt and some new crew socks for basketball.  He also had $15 birthday money that he wanted to spend.  We planned on eating at the Target cafe so James could get a slushie.  It was a great plan.

The van ride was filled with precious, uninterrupted conversation.  James asked so many questions. We talked about the sunset and God's wonderful creation.  He said "something changed in me when it got dark momma, and when I'm alone I ask such good questions.  Are these good words?".  I can't tell you how sweet that little voice was.   James anxiously watched the clock.  We had estimated we would be there at 6:16 but didn't arrive until 6:21.  As we were walking into the store he said "I think our next date should be at the beach!"  When we got into the store he had to use the restroom right away and then we noticed that the cafe was closed.  He wasn't too bummed when I told him we could choose another place for dinner.  We had a lovely time shopping for his items.  He was so cooperative and said "I love shopping at Target because it's just so quiet.  Not like our house".  I could tell that his life is inundated with noise.  It's true.  Our house often rivals a three-ringed circus.  So...crew socks, a shirt and a box of hot chocolate were his choices and then we went to the toy section to use his birthday money.  He chose wisely and when we were checking out he so sweetly told the cashier our entire story as he was paying with his own money.  He relayed the fact the we were on an adventure and that it was just the two of us.  The woman behind us in line said "This is the best idea ever." James was literally beaming.  On the way out of the store he jumped over each and every one of those big read balls outside "like a ninja".  

When we got in the car he saw the time on the clock and said "Mom we won't have time for dinner will we?".  I said "Oh yes baby we will".  He requested a cheeseburger, fries, ranch and Dr. Pepper.  He said "Mom wouldn't it be fun if we chose a restaurant that everyone else thought was stinky, but we didn't and when we got there we were the only two eating?"  I just about cried.  This boy was literally SCREAMING how much he needed some one on one time and that he just wanted QUIET.  I'm so grateful that the Lord prompted me to make this gift and that he is using Nathan to provide the funds for these adventures.  Keep praying sweet friend that all the details fall into place for these 59 remaining "dates".  I decided that Chili's might be a good option because we were so close.  We haven't eaten there in a long time.  The menu had changed drastically and they had these really fun game devices on the table.  For $1.99 there was unlimited play and so James and I talked and laughed as we played LIFE while eating.  Normally I'm opposed to phones/devices/video games during a meal, but this was special we played math games, practiced our Spanish and played LIFE.  James got the meal of his choice and I had a very yummy mango chili chicken for under 600 calories with black beans and steamed broccoli.  I ordered a piece of molten lava chocolate cake to bring home for James to have today because we did stay out past his bedtime.  James provides a soundtrack to his life.  Literally this boy sings all the time.  He's happy and makes the best faces.  It was a joy to be with my youngest.  He is generous and has a grateful heart.  He said "please and thank you" without being prompted and made good eye contact with people.  He's a great mix of shy and social and give great hugs.  He was so polite to the waitress Melissa and told her all about our evening.  He talked in detail of his family.  It made me so proud of him, but there was a twinge of sadness as he described his older siblings.  He told the waitress that Joseph is always mean and says "shut up" a lot.  I asked James what Joseph has.  He told the waitress about autism and the waitress kindly shared some things with James.  He related the ages of his siblings, the fact that there are two sets of twins in our family and that he didn't have to share his cake with anyone because it was from our date.  I have pics and videos that I'm going to try and attach to this post.  

He fell asleep on the way home and then proceeded upon arrival home to carry his things inside the house and place them under his pillow for the night.  He wore his new shirt and socks to school and has already played with his toy.  His new Minecraft figure is hooked to his backpack.  I would say that this date was a SUCCESS!  So...one down and 11 to go!

True Connection

So I have given up Facebook for the Lenten season.  I must admit that it sounds more simiple than it is.  It might even sound a little vain or silly to some.  However, for me it is a REAL sacrifice.  I don't use social media to network for jobs or to jockey for position.  I don't use it to meet people or to "hook up" as some people might.  I don't even use it to further my own agenda, promote myself or my "causes".  I use it to connect. 

I am a stay at home mom who home educates her older three and is currently potty training her two, two-year olds.  Even though I am not "talking" to these people I feel connected to them.  It also gives me a venue to be heard, validated and respected.  At least that's what  I FEEL is happening through my posts/communique on FB.  I must admit that I use it to see what people are doing in their lives.  Quite often I just "lurk" or "stalk" people.  I have placed to much value and enjoyment on finding out what other people are doing, thinking, experiencing.  It was as if I found my identity in living through these other people.  Seeing that I had received a message or a comment made me smile.  I was almost giddy.  Since I got my Android powered phone (Christmas 2010) I would check FB probably 20 times a day. 

So after I got over the initial shock of not being on FB constantly I have actually learned to like it.  I must admit that last night I got onto FB to check my messages because my sis-in-law was diagnosed with cancer last week and I knew that my brother was using FB as a venue to update everyone on her condition/surgery results etc.  I also had received an email from a friend that said she sent me a FB message.  So I checked it briefly but myself on "offline" status so I wouldn't be tempted to chat with people.  I also checked my page because someone had said they left some info for me there.  The entire deal lasted less than five minutes.  It was NICE.

I am prayerfully considering giving up FB alltogether.  I want connection, don't ge me WRONG.  I crave connection.  However, I'm finding it other ways these days.  I started a new exercise class on Wednesday nights.  It is small, but has some godly women that I am enjoying getting to commune with.  I am calling people more often.  I'm texting and sending emails.  I'm blogging again...YEAH.  I actually have written letters and helped my children write letters and thank you cards.  Since Ash Wednesday we've memorized a portion of Scripture that has challenged us all.  Face to face coffee talks with my husband at 5:30 am have left my heart filled and my "love tank" overflowing.  I've communed with God and myself as I have walked/hiked and run the trails in Montreat.  The quiet has touched me deeply.  Taking the time to write in my journal has forced me to view my life through the lens of reality and personal reflection, perception and honesty.  These past few days have been filled with integrity, honesty, connection and I've LOVED it!!!  I've had lunch with friends, dates with my husband, times of prayer and sharing.  It's been glorious.  As I've studied God's Word (specifically Hebrews 11) I've shared honestly with my Bible study/LIFE group.  What a joy to be connected to those people. 

Although Lent is a time of somber introspection and "giving up" things I feel as if I've gained MUCH more than I've given away.  I'm so blessed.