Thursday, January 14, 2010

Whining, Waffles and Wondering....

Whining...I have heard LOTS of that lately. My older three are really struggling to adjust to all of this newness. They are feeling disconnected from each other, from their routine and from mom and dad. I have had to deal with some pretty nasty behavioral stuff in the last few days. I am feeling completely out of my league. I am so tired of hearing and SAYING the words "No", "Stop that", "Don't". Catch my drift??? I have no energy to deal with this. I feel hopeless and I want to whine myself. Maybe that's what I'm doing in this blog...hahaha!

Waffles...taking as much Fenugreek as I have been makes your sweat and skin smell like maple syrup. I hope taking this herb helps. I wonder about my milk supply. to try and keep up with two kiddos is a daunting task. Jonathan is nursing fairly well. James has yet to have enough strength and stamina to nurse so he gets breast milk in a bottle. I could use a good Belgian waffle right now from IHOP covered in boysenberry syrup with hash browns and a STRONG cup of coffee!!!

Wondering....how is this all going to pan out? Am I going to warp my children? What was I thinking? Why am I homeschooling? Why two sets of twins? Will my children EVER stop fighting? Will I ever sleep again? When is the next time I'm goint to take a shower? What about a date? I feel like I haven't had a real meaningful, soul touching conversation with Nathan in months. I wonder when I will be able to go to church again...WITH my family. I wonder why I feel so lost, disconnected and hopeless. I wonder what these boys will look like, what they will be, are they healthy? I wonder, I wonder, I wonder....

A heart full. A head full. A life full. Today I am barely swimming. I would say I'm dog paddling. Thanks for letting me share...

4 comments:

Sarah said...

I'm praying for you friend and I promise things will get better! Your kids are beautiful, you are beautiful and you are an AMAZING mother! I love you! Just keep swimming... just keep swimming... just keep swimming swimming swimming ;-)

Wendy said...

Hey honey! I have complete confidence in you my friend! You are such a strong person! My kids fight and it's just the two of them! Lol! I will continue to pray for you! And if you need me, I'm here! Love ya~!

isabelp said...

Janelle--I'm ready to come help out in some of the less popular hours, like midnight til 5. If Jessie and JoyAnne want to go on an excursion to the pipes' stronghold, that can also be arranged. we might even be strong enough to watch all 5 so that you and nathan can have "couple time'I need to do something for you-it is a good use of my skills and more rewarding since it's for people ii know.

mimito5 said...

Hi honey :) Couldn't sleep, so was surfing and ran upon a wonderful site for women of faith, by women of faith, where you can talk, share experiences, etc. You might want to check it out. I think I'm gonna sign up :)
http://www.incourage.me/. It's actually an offshoot of the DaySpring site. Looks wonderful though.