Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Where Joy and Sorrow Meet

I had the great pleasure and responsibility of singing this song last Sunday. This song has been ministering to me more AFTER I sang it then as I was learning it. I pray that you are encouraged by the lyrics.

I think we all live in this place. Life is hard. It is full of disapointments, sorrow, strife, bitterness and hurt. It is also full of joy, happiness, acheivements and blessings. Learning to mix the two is the key. Being grateul for EVERYTHING and in EVERY situation is the task of a follower of Christ. I quite often lean to one side of the spectrum. I am on a high or on a low. My prayer is for a heart that rests. A soul that trusts in her Savior and lives life "Where Joy and Sorrow Meet".

Be blessed today,


There’s a place of quiet stillness ‘tween the light and shadows reach
Where the hurting and the hopeless seek everlasting peace
Words of men and songs of angels whisper comfort bittersweet
Mending grief and life eternal where joy and sorrow meet

There is a place where hope remains
In crowns of thorns and crimson stains
And tears that fall on Jesus’ feet
Where joy and sorrow meet

There’s a place the lost surrender and the weary will retreat
Full of grace and mercy tender in times of unbelief
For wounded there is healing, strength is given to the weak
Broken hearts find love redeeming where joy and sorrow meet
(repeat chorus)

There’s a place of thirst and hunger where the roots of faith grow deep
And there is rain and rolling thunder when the road is rough and steep
There is hope in desperation there is victory in defeat
At the cross of restoration where joy and sorrow meet
(repeat chorus)

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Love Dare

So I bought the book the Love Dare a few weeks ago. I bought it honestly with the grand idea in the back of my mind that my husband would complete the dare, woo me and sweep me off of my feet emotionally. Now please know I realize how COMPLETELY unrealistic this was, but hey a girl can dream. Now don't get me wrong, Nathan loves me dearly, but right now all he is thinking about is finding a new job and taking care of the family.

So I spent some time in conversation with the Lord pouring my heart out to Him. I admitted that I wanted Nathan to love me more openly, romantically and spontaneously. I confessed how much I wanted to be understood, loved, valued and wanted. The Lord simply reminded me of the book and impressed upon me to do the dare FOR Nathan. If I desire to be loved I must LEARN to love first.

I started the dare on April 13th. So far I have really enjoyed it, and Nathan is to my knowledge unaware of my actions. I will keep you posted!

Saturday, April 18, 2009


I was given these Willow Tree figurines several years ago by one of the dearest friends I've ever known. The two figurines come together by sliding the hands of one woman into the hands of the other. Yes they can function independently, but they were meant to be together. This set is on my dresser. I view them several times throughout the day.

Oddly enough over the last few months though they have been falling. When I shut a drawer to quickly or maybe too roughly they topple over. Sometimes one falls. Sometimes both of them take a tumble. It's almost humorous how many times I have had to restore them to their upright position. You think I would have enough sense to move them.

Well today the unfortunate happened. As I was putting laundry in its respective drawers the figurines gave an unrecoverable tumble. The one woman who slips her hands OVER the other is the one that broke. Oddly enough it was JUST her hands. I have been thinking about this most of the day. This is symbolic for MANY reasons.

I am not sure I am ready to write ALL of my feelings regarding this, but I will share a few thoughts. Quite often no matter how hard I try to hold onto something OR someone the grasp eventually is broken. For different and various reasons relationships are broken. The hands of time, relationship, love and commitment are released and people fall away from each other.

You see these two people on my dresser can stand separately. One can even stand there without any hands, but this is not its intended design. Also, this isn't its original status. Even with the hands repaired, the figurines won't fit together the same way. They won't look the same. This is how it is with relationships after forgiveness is granted and amends are made. The relationship is never quite the same, but can fit together again in a NEW way.

There are relationships in my life that have been broken. Someone has chosen to let go. Their hands have slipped away and I am standing there with my hands outstretched waiting to grasp onto something. Perhaps it was an unintentional fall, perhaps it was a choice. I am not sure, but nevertheless, the hands are broken, and so is my heart.

Ultimately I am reminded today that the only hand that will NEVER let go is the nail-scarred hand. I can slip my hands into HIS and know that his friendship, his redemption, his love will NEVER fade, fail or falter. He chooses me. He reaches out to me and lovingly wraps his hands around mine. It is a beautiful, loving grasp, strong and secure yet gentle and patient. His love is not coercive or forceful.

I will try and repair my broken angel. She is important to me. The love behind the gift was real, and I like to believe it still is, even though distanced by time and life.

God forgive me for the times I withdraw my hands from you. The times I have chosen my OWN path over YOUR way. The times I thought that I needed to set my hands to something else. Hold onto me firmly Lord. Don't let me go, please. Also forgive me for holding onto other things and other people more tightly than I hold onto YOU. Mend my broken hands and my divided heart.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Lessons from Jesse

Yesterday Jesse got a spanking. This isn't an odd occurence in the Flint household (hahaha!) but what led up to it is where I learned the lesson.

On Sunday my mother gave each of the children an Easter basket. Each child received a kite. JoyAnn and Joseph really could have cared less. For my obsessive, collecting child, Jesse, this was a TREASURE. You see Jesse has 7 kites at this point. I told Jesse that we could NOT open the kite until we needed it. I tried to explain that when the kite that we are currently using breaks (which it will inevitably) that we could open his NEW kite. He said "alright momma".

On Monday I dropped Jesse and JoyAnn off at mom's while I took Joseph to the doctor (he has shingles...but I digress). When I picked them up Jesse had opened the kite. Infraction #1 (I scolded, but ultimately ignored). Monday night Sarah came over to watch the children while Nathan and I went to our Financial Peace University class. I didn't realize anything had happened. Tuesday morning Jesse woke me up with his kite in hand, and said "Mom look what I have. Sarah did it!". Not being fully awake I simply said to Jesse "please let me wake up before I get upset". Now here was infraction #2. Well Daddy couldn't handle it. He is much more consistent with discipline than I am. So he told Jesse that he would be spanked for his blatant disobedience.

In the mean time there was another incident that had to be handled. Go figure... When Nathan begin to look for Jesse, to spank him, he could not find him. Finally Jesse was discovered hiding in our closet. Nathan told me later that he had the most pitiful, remorseful face. Anyway the spanking was delivered, hugs insued and Jesse truly understood his punishment was based on deliberate disobedience.

Here's the lesson for me. My disobedience often works in stages such as Jesse exhibited. It looks innocent at first, and I often blame it on others. I smile when I share my stories and I justify my actions. In the back of my mind though, knowing all the time, that my actions were wrong and I would have to pay the consequence. Then when it comes time for me to face the music, you can find me hiding in the closet. Lovingly my Heavenly Father comes and find me, disciplines me, chastens me, and then holds me. All the time helping me to understand that my disobedience keeps me from Him and His plan for my life.

I'm sure there will be other incidents with Jesse AND with me. However, today I praise God for lessons learned and a loving Father who wants the best for His children.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

"My Shell"

Today is one of those days that I am struggling to come out my shell and stay there. I can feel fear knocking on my door. Even though it sounds odd being afraid is comfortable for me. It is a coping skill I have developed over the last eight years, and unfortunately worry and fear have become a part of my life. Over the last 4 years I have been addressing this fear and realizing that I don't have to give into fear. I do have other ways to cope!

I have honestly been doing REALLY well since Nathan's lay-off in February. We were given a month's notice. He stopped working on the 19th of March. We then were able to celebrate my birthday and the twin's birthday. That was fun. Then a trip to the beach that we were blessed with. Still smooth sailing. Ok so today I feel like I have finally awoken from my "dream". Nathan doesn't have a job. I only work part-time. We have three children. Bills due. A truck that needs repair (praise God Nathan is a mechanic). It's time to grocery shop. I could keep listing, but it makes me even more fearful.

I'm not going to give into the fear today. I just needed to talk about it, recognize it's presence and then dismiss it. Even though it's snowing today I'm gonna stay out of my shell. I'm gonna face today and whatever it has to offer. I'm going to realize that God is in control, and I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!!

If you read this, please pray for me. Pray for our family. Thanks...


Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Our Trip

Here are some pics from our most recent trip to the OBX (Outer Banks). We were blessed to have 4 nights there sans kiddos. We had a QUIET time. Although cold and windy it was JUST what we needed. We pray to return SOON with the kids. We stayed at the Pony Island Motel on Ocracoke. It was clean, quaint and the staff was very friendly. Most of all Nathan and I had a chance to reconnect. We didn't have ANY expectations of each other or of what the trip would be like. It was beautiful. The last time we had been away for more than a night together without the children (NOT serving on an Emmaus team) was in 2004. This trip was ANYTHING but a vacation. We were able to relax. Mainly because I was all but having a nervous breakdown. Anyway, this trip was JUST amazing in the fact that God provided, thus it really was what we needed. We ferried over to Hatteras and drove the coast. We saw the lighthouse in Buxton and drove up to Roadanthe. I was able to nap, read, watch tv (a real treat for me) and take uninteruppted baths EVERYDAY!!! Nathan napped, napped and napped. No he also enjoyed driving on the beach and eating as much seafood as he could hold. We hope not to have to be having a nervous breakdown or wait 14 years for our next trip together.