Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Today is one of those days that I am struggling to come out my shell and stay there. I can feel fear knocking on my door. Even though it sounds odd being afraid is comfortable for me. It is a coping skill I have developed over the last eight years, and unfortunately worry and fear have become a part of my life. Over the last 4 years I have been addressing this fear and realizing that I don't have to give into fear. I do have other ways to cope!
I have honestly been doing REALLY well since Nathan's lay-off in February. We were given a month's notice. He stopped working on the 19th of March. We then were able to celebrate my birthday and the twin's birthday. That was fun. Then a trip to the beach that we were blessed with. Still smooth sailing. Ok so today I feel like I have finally awoken from my "dream". Nathan doesn't have a job. I only work part-time. We have three children. Bills due. A truck that needs repair (praise God Nathan is a mechanic). It's time to grocery shop. I could keep listing, but it makes me even more fearful.
I'm not going to give into the fear today. I just needed to talk about it, recognize it's presence and then dismiss it. Even though it's snowing today I'm gonna stay out of my shell. I'm gonna face today and whatever it has to offer. I'm going to realize that God is in control, and I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!!
If you read this, please pray for me. Pray for our family. Thanks...