As a part of Courtney's challenge I've been working on this summer I finally had a chance to speak with Nathan about his "Top 5". Some of our most precious times of coversation happen in the early morning over coffee, feeding babies, reading Jesus Calling and just being together. So today I honestly shared with him about my venture in this challenge, about my participating in Praying for Our Husbands, and asked him to share his "list". He was grateful that I am making such effort to be a better helpmate. He shared honestly and thoughtfully. I would like to share his list with you.
Nathan's Top 5:
1. Clean off the dining room table and keep it clean!!! He values all that I do around the house and genuinely appreciates the quality of the house in spite of 5 kids. The only thing he asked is that I keep the table clean so that we can share family meals.
2. Make a better effort to line up childcare so that we can have WEEKLY dates. This isn't as easy as it sounds with five children. It is expensive and difficult to find someone who will commit to keeping five children on a regular basis. I was THRILLED to hear of Nathan's desire to date me more regularly. I WILL make this a priority. :-)
3. On the weekends make sure that I haven't OVER PLANNED. Nathan NEEDS decompression time. He NEEDS family time. He wants to be with just our clan of 7 every weekend uninteruppted. Once again this isn't as simple as it sounds for me. I LOVE people. I miss adult interaction and so staying at home on the weekends after being here for five straight days is a challenge for me. However, the Lord showed me the importance of this last weekend. We had a WONDERFUL, simple, stress free, at home weekend. It was GLORIOUS. I'll put my agenda aside to honor his request.
4. When I asked him about ME what he liked about ME or wanted me to do differntly (hair, nails, losing weight etc.) he answered this way....I know how you really want to be pretty for me. I like it when you make sure you are dressed (not still in pjs) when I get home and I wish that from time to time you would buy a new outfit and shoes for our dates. WOW!!! Once again I was FLOORED. I feel SOOO guilty buying things for myself. I am afraid to ask Nathan for money. I was so relieved to hear this. Now I must share with you that buying clothes is NOT fun for me. I hate trying on things and I never feel as if they fit properly. However, I will get used to this if it pleases Nathan. Oh and for the pj thing...I hate it too, but some days I don't even get a shower with these five keeping me busy. Small things to some...BIG THINGS to me!
5. The last on the list...YES HE MENTIONED THIS LAST :-) is to make HIM a priority. To not stay up on the computer for hours after he goes to bed. To be available for him and to make the physical part of our relationship a priority. So who says that men only think about sex....he mentioned this LAST!
Ok ladies (and gentlemen) PLEASE pray for me as I strive to be the BEST lover, wife, helpmate, friend, caregiver I can be to/for Nathan. For those of you who think you know what your spouse wants...why not ask them. You JUST MIGHT BE SURPRISED!!!