With Deep Gratitude

I am so grateful.  My life is full of blessings.  They look much differently than I expect them to some times, but they are blessings.  There are people and things that are no longer in my life and it took my a long time to see that as a blessing/gift, but I am coming to realize that even the short time I was blessed was enough.  My relationship with Christ is MORE than enough.  Unmet expectations have less and less hold on me and I am learning to release daily my need to be needed and my desire to control people and situations.  I am thankful that I am learning that not everyone is going to like me or want to be my friend (hard to believe isn't it...hahaha?) and that I can't create peace in the midst of chaos.  I can't judge others, I can't even judge myself and it is so good to be free from that compulsion.  I am filled with gratitude and my heart is lighter than ever.  I see challenges as exciting and my to do lists are becoming more balanced.  Hope is renewed.  Expectations of myself and others are changing and my dependence upon the Lord is increasing more everyday.  My heart longs for it's real home.  Daily I am reminded that this world is not my home.  I yearn to live in God's intended purpose for my life and I am searching for the abundant life He has for me.  I am GRATEFUL, blessed beyond measure and forever humbled by God's love, mercy and saving grace.  Happy Thanksgiving and blessings to you all during this holiday season.

 

 

Just a glimpse into my gift...

A peaceful Mother's Day has really given me a chance to ponder what it means to be a mother. Even more specifically what it means to mother MY children. Being a mother is the greatest gift I have EVER received (besides SALVATION and the last name FLINT...)!!! It you to get just a little glimpse into why being a mother to these five AMAZING children is such a gift.

*Joseph William Flint (Born Sunday June 17, 2001-Father's Day that year and Tyler's Birthday)*
Joseph is my gift in MANY ways. I had a wonderful, unmedicated birth with Joseph. I labored in the tub and was able to be fully present in every way. It was truly holy and I'm forever grateful to have had these moments. He was being born as the sun was rising and I felt God's presence in the room in such a mighty way. It was beautiful.

His name was chosen for several reasons. "Joseph" is biblical. In Hebrew "Joseph" means "Jehovah increases". That is our prayer that God would increase Joseph's life. That he would be blessed with more than we have and that he would experience EVERYTHING God has for him. "William" is a family name. My Papa's name is David Williams and My Grandpa's name was Dexter William Morgan.

At approximately the age of three we realized that something was "different" about Joseph. While I was pregnant with Jesse and JoyAnn, Joseph began to exhibit strange mannerisms and regress verbally and lose some fine motor dexterity. He also became increasingly anxious and agitated. By the age of four there was an official diagnosis of ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). Through this frustrating, complicated and overwhelming disorder God has taught me SOOOOO much. Joseph sees the world in a very different way. I am amazed every day by him. God is growing me, stretching me, making me more like Him as I parent Joseph. Please don't get me wrong there are days I HATE AUTISM. There are days that I don't really like being Joseph's mom, but I ALWAYS LOVE HIM!!! I am learning to be his advocate and to accept him, FULLY and COMPLETELY as I release MY preconceived agendas for him. He is my "chocolate-eyed" boy with the delightful smile. Anyone who knows Joseph understands how his voice (whether singing or telling "stories") can draw a captive audience. I am pleased and blessed to be Joseph's mother.


*Jesse Morgan Flint (Born Sunday March 21, 2004)
My gentle spirit and #2 son. Nathan chose the name Jesse. He liked it's traditional sound and the fact that it was biblical yet fairly uncommon. Of course being a Dukes of Hazzard fan I wonder sometimes if he chose it because he liked Uncle Jesse ;-). Morgan is my maiden name. I wanted to honor my family of origin.

Jesse has a gentle, loving and unique spirit. He loves others with a deep love. However, he wears his emotions on his sleeve. He is afraid to cry sometimes and I think he stuffs his feelings too much. He doesn't stand up for himself and usually is the one to compromise. Lately however, he is becoming quite the pistol. Jesse's gorgeous smile and nice voice will come in handy someday I'm sure ;-). He loves his sister immensely and takes care of his little brothers quite well. Jesse is more patient with Joseph than JoyAnn usually and they are learning to play together quite nicely. I could easily say that he is a delight to be around.

He is mechanically minded and loves to figure out how things work. Jesse is too hard on himself though and expects perfection from himself and others THE FIRST TIME. I would say that Jesse is my "middle of the road" kid. He is average in learning, development etc. and is totally ok with that!


JoyAnn Renee Flint (Born Sunday March 21, 2004)
JoyAnn is truly a princess. Although she's not girly at all(hahahaha). She is a little demanding, dramatic and diva-ish. However, she can jump higher, run faster, hit farther, catch better etc. than either one of her brothers. I hear that she looks exactly like me (God bless her little soul). She has a precious smile and beautiful eyes. She is smart as a whip and probably a little advanced (even if I say so myself).

Mercy and compassion towards others (besides her siblings...lol) are a gift of hers. She has a desire for the things of the Lord and I believe her heart is softening to Him. She misses her Nannie and talks about her quite often. She is a tremendous help with James and Jonathan. She acts as if she doesn't need people but she really does. She is totally connected to Jesse. I love her and look forward to becoming a good friend to her in years to come. I pray she can always talk to Nathan and me about anything. She will make a great wife and mother someday.


Jonathan Israel Flint (Born Sunday December 20, 2009)
This lil' man is just a love bug. We call him "smiley". He has a great smile and a lil' tongue just goes non-stop. He is ABSOLUTELY precious. You would never know that he was a preemie or had to be on a vent for a short time. I have a feeling that Jonathan is going to be an overachiever. He can already roll over both directions. We call him "turtle boy" because when he gets stuck on his back though he gets angry. He has sweet eyes and a cute little "boo boo" lip. Jesse has a connection to Jonathan that I can't wait to develop. Jonathan loves to play, swing, be held and look at people.

Although we NEVER planned on having twins AGAIN I am so blessed to have Jonathan. I cannot imagine my life without him. He holds a special place in my heart and I am so blessed that his time in NICU was short and we don't have any reason to believe that he has long term effects from prematurity.


James Paul Flint (Born Sunday December 20, 2009)
Named after our fathers (James Morgan and Randolph "Paul" Flint) he is a precious way to complete our family. #5 has a crooked half smile that lights up a room. He sings himself to sleep and everytime I hear it I want to cry with joy and happiness. He is a hunk, chunk and "the hulk". He really has bulked up from a mere 4 lbs. 11 oz.

James just loves to be held and is quite social. I love the fact that he takes things at his own pace. He doesn't seem bothered or worried about anything. I hope he can stay that way (granted he is only 4 months old...lol). The only thing about James that is challenging right now is his VERY LOUD cry. It hurts your ears and makes you want to scream right along with him (especially at 4 in the morning).

I am glad that James was part of a duo. A few of my friends refer to James and Jonathan as the "Sons of Thunder". I pray that God will use James and his twin MIGHTILY for His kingdom.

God's watch is NOT broken!!!

For those of you who read my blog on a regular basis you know that I love the song God Speaking by Mandisa. It acutally made it to a blog post back in December. I had another "God Speaking" moment though recently and it's too good NOT to share. This time praise Him I heard him speaking and I answered appropriately. This doesn't always happen, but that's another blog...hahahaha!

A dear friend of mine came over last Sunday night after a wedding reception she had attended. She mentioned something that was on her heart. She wanted to get her son a pocket watch with a train on it. Her son had just made this request known. She wasn't quite sure how this gift was going to come to pass due to the time constraints and other issues. I just listened but was prompted by the Spirit to check on something after she left.

When she left I went and begin to dig through the desk drawers in our computer desk. I found a pocket watch WITH A TRAIN ON IT that Nathan had owned for who knows how many years. I asked him if I could give it to these friends of ours. Nathan agreed willingly. So I gave her the watch the next day. I had not found the chain, but told her I would continue to look. She had the watch cleaned and put in a new battery. When she brought the watch back to my house to keep it in safe hiding I was able to give her the CHAIN. The Lord had directed me to the chain. It was in a different place than the watch had been. Cool, huh? So she had the chain cleaned and returned it to me the next day.

Her son had been praying for a pocket watch with a train all week long and on Thursday he was able to open up the chain. His mother has been praying for a renewed faith and for God to continue to show Himself true to her and her family. Guess what, BOTH prayers were answered. God is faithful.

I guess for once being a pack rat paid off! Thank you Lord for speaking to my friend, prompting her to share a need. Thank you for speaking to me that I could be a blessing. Thank you for showing yourself faithful to a young man. Thank you for blessing EVERYONE at the party last Thursady night who knew the story of the "watch". Thank you for blessing and encouraging those reading this blog. "He'll do and he'll use whatever He wants to. To tell us I love you. God is speaking, I LOVE YOU!". Be blessed....

Gratefully His,

Janelle

Even God Likes Little Debbie

So today I was blessed AGAIN by my children. I was blessed by God’s provision and by God’s ability to bless those he treasures with good things.

After Bible study I took the children and a friend of mine to Subway in Swannanoa for lunch. As we were standing in line I was a little distracted by all of the noise from the children, people in the gas station, etc. Joseph says to me "It’s I Can Only Imagine". I said "what?". He says it again..."I Can Only Imagine". My friend Angie confirms that is what is on the radio. Then my sweet little boy begins to BELT out this song in the middle of Subway in perfect pitch. For those of you who have had the joy of worshipping with Joseph (that’s really what is was), you know he holds NOTHING back. I also thought it quite amusing that his baby sister sat on the packs of canned drinks and drummed in perfect rhythm for him to sing.

He sings the remainder of the song as I place orders. I don’t even worry about what people are thinking. I don’t try to "shush" him or make him stop. In fact I encourage him that his singing is beautiful. For those of you who know ME you know that is a miracle. I’m ALWAYS worried about what people think, especially about Joseph.

Well we are enjoying our meal at Subway (by the way the pizzas are very good, the children enjoyed them). I had noticed earlier that the Little Debbie vendor was there restocking shelves, but didn’t think anything of it. Then he comes over to the table with a HUGE box of Oatmeal Creme Pies and another of Nutty Bars. He places them on the table with a HUGE smile on his face and says...."maam I wanted to give these to your children because I so enjoyed your son’s singing". You should have seen Joseph’s face. Creme pies are his favorite. We were all so excited, so blessed and I was pleasantly reminded that my child IS special. Special in a BLESSED way.

Psalm 84:11
For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. (NIV)

Now I am certainly not implying that I am blameless or that my walk as a mother is perfect. I am also not saying Joseph is a perfect kid (or the other two for that matter). However, I believe that God loves to bless His children and I can tell you that I am seeking His face and trying diligently to show His love to my children. I praise God for his favor. I praise God for his loving kindess that would bless some kids in Swannanoa, NC with junk food just because they worshipped Him with a pure heart.