Amends...

a⋅mend - /əˈmɛnd/-uh-mend]
–verb (used with object) 1. to alter, modify, rephrase, or add to or subtract from (a motion, bill, constitution, etc.) by formal procedure: Congress may amend the proposed tax bill.
2. to change for the better; improve: to amend one's ways.
3. to remove or correct faults in; rectify.
–verb (used without object) 4. to grow or become better by reforming oneself: He amends day by day.

Today I made an amend with a dear friend of mine. I haven't heard back from this person, but regardless of the reaction I know I did what I was called to do in this situation.

Steps 8 and 9 in Celebrate Recovery deal directly with amends. Step 8 is "We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all." Step 9 is as follows "We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." I have spent almost 4 years in recovery. I have been able to make amends with many people in my life. It is freeing. Sometimes though it is not possible as mentioned in step 9. Today was an effort to have a willing heart, to take that first step, to humble myself and let this person know I forgive AND desire to BE FORGIVEN.

Keep praying for me as I walk this journey of recovery. It is the most difficult thing I've ever done (besides marriage...lol). However, it has been and will continue to be rewarding and freeing!!!

I love the last definition of amends...to grow or become better by reforming oneself. I am working to make these amends everyday. I am striving to become the woman God created me to be. You know one of the relationships that I have had trouble "mending" in the last few years is the one with MYSELF. I am still learning who I am, and learning to be comfortable in my own skin. Life isn't easy, but it IS an adventure, huh????

Here's to a life of amends. It has been said that "love is never having to say you're sorry." I TOTALLY disagree. In my humble opinion love is being willing AND able to admit your fault and ask for forgiveness on a daily basis. Love is being open, honest and vulnerable enough to say I BLEW IT!!!

Have a great weekend.

Janelle