When you come to a fork in the road which path will you take? Both roads look promising, yet both are unknown. Where will you end up? How will you get there? Will the destination be what you dreamed?
I am choosing a path in my life right now. I am choosing to love Nathan and stay married to him (even though it ISN'T easy). I am choosing to be a stay at home mom. I am choosing to work on my recovery of hurts, habits and hangups from the past. I am choosing to learn to love those in my life unconditionally while sharing my opinions. I am working on boundaries. I am choosing a path.
Is it the right one? Will I be pleased? Is this the easier road? Who knows really, except the Lord. There are things I would like to address while traveling this new journey, this new path. But overall, today's an "up" day!
Why am I writing this? Well, Nathan and I have been having a HARD time recently. Some choices HAD to be made. Should I go back to work? Should Nathan quit his job at the Cove (which he did..see previous blog)? Should we put the kids in preschool/school? What's going to happen with our marriage? Is this all really worth it? What will happen with Joseph? So through prayer and discussion choices have been made. I am working at loving Nathan. I am committed to spending time with him before he leaves on August 18th. I am choosing to love him and look for the good in him, while trying my best to forget the negatives. I am trying to look for the hope in Joseph's situation. I am doing my best with the house but realeasing the fact that it will never be as clean as I wish (at least not for YEARS)! I am praying to be fulfilled with what I have and learn true contentment. I am praying...that's the key. Lamentations 3:40 "Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the Lord"
That's the key, back to basics. The road (whichever one you choose) will be easier traveled with prayer. I am going back to what I know. A relationship with the Lord. He is making the rest clear as hand in hand we walk the crooked path I've chosen. The beautiful part of it all though is it's really the path HE'S chosen. My God is a sovereign God! Everything that happens to me has been "father-filtered". I am so blessed in resting in his majesty, his grace, his love and his SOVEREIGNTY!!! To quote Dr. Billy Graham "It's about time that we are putting less confindence in ourselves and more trust and faith in God". It seems as though when I truly examine myself all I see is myself. I should be seeing more of God then me! Oh I long for the day when the "beautiful stuff" within my cup is more him then just my "good deeds".
Forks in the road really aren't obstacles. They really aren't tests. They are merely opportunities to draw you closer to the one who made you! Thank you Lord for my fork in the road!